The practicing doubts are still present.... But I am at a point where practicing feels good. I think its really just the simple concept that it takes a bit to put the bassoon together, now including a music stand, get water, soak reeds, hope the reeds work well as I haven't been able to purchase new cane yet (but my fingers are crossed and I'm knocking on wood because the reeds in my case are doing just fine!) I've decided to prepare for a bassoon competition. The music is pretty stellar, a Vivaldi concerto, and a piece by Jose Siqueira. The second piece is right up my ally of new-age pieces, I would file this similarly with the Tansman Sonatine. Its a ripper. Which means one has the opportunity to let go and play. These are my favorite pieces. You still have your standard priorities of intonation, timbre, rhythm, and correct notes but these pieces are challenging in a way that are equally rewarding (and make you sound pretty bad ass) (link to Tansman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Q45VC16lc) BUT I find that the Siqueira piece is a bit repetitive in the tenor range. I love a good piece such as anyone but just hanging out in the tenor range and repeating the theme multiple time kills my face (or maybe that's my limited practiced embouchure speaking). The Vivaldi is going well, some parts are fantastically easy but then you move on in the piece and get slaughtered..... mainly by ridiculous jumps! Over an octave! But it sounds so cool!
But the biggest thing I think about lately is what I'm going to do in order to graduate and what am I going to do after I graduate. With the pandemic still very at large there is the possibility of classes being online this upcoming fall. I'm supposed to graduate in December, all that's left is to take - Orchestra, Lessons, Composition, Area III - American music or Sociology at KVCC, and the humanities area - Medical Humanities. I was going to take a scuba diving class and become scuba certified but.... that's a little difficult to do online.... If we have classes in person as the school says we will everything will be fine but I've been preparing for the worst. I'm taking the required freshman level English course currently through KVCC (after completing my baccalaureate writing requirement in both English and Spanish...oops) and I registered to take a sociology course at KVCC in summer II to make my course load lighter this fall. I do know that since I played with a university orchestra, Orquesta del Universidad Nacional, and took lessons with Isabel Jerimas down in Costa Rica I could apply to have those be used as my orchestra and lessons credit for this fall if needed. (little secret is that everyone who played in an ensemble and took lessons this spring semester at WMU got it waived completed due to the pandemic.... obviously the right thing to do but I want to be included too! lol) I was told that if we are unable to have classes in person this fall that my orchestra and lesson requirements would not hold me back from graduating.
What do I want to do after I graduate?
There are three options. The first is the one I'm leaning towards the most lately, is to go to school to become a paramedic (takes about 2 years) while waiting for Michael to graduate and then we can talk about choosing a Graduate school and location we both agree on. This would be perfect because I've been struggling with the idea of wanting to be involved in the medical field but I don't want to stop playing music in order to go to school for medicine. I am on the sub list for the Holland Symphony, play principal in Elkhart symphony, play in the Kalamazoo Philharmonic so I think I've got the music continuation down.... Plus I've been having a bit of imposter syndrome lately, feeling that I'm not ready to go to grad school. I don't really feel that all comfortable with all my scales, plus I want to fully learn modes. I just feel like I have a lot more I want to learn and re-learn prior to taking all of those grad school entrance exams plus playing auditions.
The second option, to join the military. This is by far the most financially stable idea. 20 years in and you get retirement with full benefits (I could retire at 42). Now I really dislike the idea of having to play with a band for 20 years... I personally don't believe you need bassoons in a band unless playing certain repertoire. I've had my part doubled by the entire low section too many times to care. You can't hear the bassoon at all and its almost a waste of time (unless you write specifically a part for the bassoon). BUT in the military I could also use my Spanish as translating skills, and I could even switch my job assignment later on if I'd like to something in the medical field.
The third option, brought to you by listening to Double Reed Dish (great podcast!),to say heck with it all and begin auditioning for orchestra jobs. After all one doesn't begin learning until they get their first orchestra job. And I bet I could find an opening in a Spanish speaking country. BUT I would be away from Michael. I would have to pay for the flight, room and boarding for the trip to the audition in hopes that I might win the position. It's all just too much of a chance I'm afraid to take.
In searching for answers I've realized that its okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. And that I'm afraid to not use either of my undergraduate degrees. I paid a lot of money for them after all.....
Have a good holiday weekend and feel free to contact me with tips tricks and advice!
emastenbrook911@gmail.com
or leave a comment with your contact info
EM
