Sunday, May 24, 2020

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The practicing doubts are still present.... But I am at a point where practicing feels good. I think its really just the simple concept that it takes a bit to put the bassoon together, now including a music stand, get water, soak reeds, hope the reeds work well as I haven't been able to purchase new cane yet (but my fingers are crossed and I'm knocking on wood because the reeds in my case are doing just fine!) I've decided to prepare for a bassoon competition. The music is pretty stellar, a Vivaldi concerto, and a piece by Jose Siqueira. The second piece is right up my ally of new-age pieces, I would file this similarly with the Tansman Sonatine. Its a ripper. Which means one has the opportunity to let go and play. These are my favorite pieces. You still have your standard priorities of intonation, timbre, rhythm, and correct notes but these pieces are challenging in a way that are equally rewarding (and make you sound pretty bad ass) (link to Tansman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Q45VC16lc) BUT I find that the Siqueira piece is a bit repetitive in the tenor range. I love a good piece such as anyone but just hanging out in the tenor range and repeating the theme multiple time kills my face (or maybe that's my limited practiced embouchure speaking). The Vivaldi is going well, some parts are fantastically easy but then you move on in the piece and get slaughtered..... mainly by ridiculous jumps! Over an octave! But it sounds so cool!


But the biggest thing I think about lately is what I'm going to do in order to graduate and what am I going to do after I graduate. With the pandemic still very at large there is the possibility of classes being online this upcoming fall. I'm supposed to graduate in December, all that's left is to take - Orchestra, Lessons, Composition, Area III - American music or Sociology at KVCC, and the humanities area - Medical Humanities. I was going to take a scuba diving class and become scuba certified but.... that's a little difficult to do online.... If we have classes in person as the school says we will everything will be fine but I've been preparing for the worst. I'm taking the required freshman level English course currently through KVCC (after completing my baccalaureate writing requirement in both English and Spanish...oops) and I registered to take a sociology course at KVCC in summer II to make my course load lighter this fall. I do know that since I played with a university orchestra, Orquesta del Universidad Nacional, and took lessons with Isabel Jerimas down in Costa Rica I could apply to have those be used as my orchestra and lessons credit for this fall if needed. (little secret is that everyone who played in an ensemble and took lessons this spring semester at WMU got it waived completed due to the pandemic.... obviously the right thing to do but I want to be included too! lol) I was told that if we are unable to have classes in person this fall that my orchestra and lesson requirements would not hold me back from graduating.


What do I want to do after I graduate?
There are three options. The first is the one I'm leaning towards the most lately, is to go to school to become a paramedic (takes about 2 years) while waiting for Michael to graduate and then we can talk about choosing a Graduate school and location we both agree on. This would be perfect because I've been struggling with the idea of wanting to be involved in the medical field but I don't want to stop playing music in order to go to school for medicine. I am on the sub list for the Holland Symphony, play principal in Elkhart symphony, play in the Kalamazoo Philharmonic so I think I've got the music continuation down.... Plus I've been having a bit of imposter syndrome lately, feeling that I'm not ready to go to grad school. I don't really feel that all comfortable with all my scales, plus I want to fully learn modes. I just feel like I have a lot more I want to learn and re-learn prior to taking all of those grad school entrance exams plus playing auditions.


The second option, to join the military. This is by far the most financially stable idea. 20 years in and you get retirement with full benefits (I could retire at 42). Now I really dislike the idea of having to play with a band for 20 years... I personally don't believe you need bassoons in a band unless playing certain repertoire. I've had my part doubled by the entire low section too many times to care. You can't hear the bassoon at all and its almost a waste of time (unless you write specifically a part for the bassoon). BUT in the military I could also use my Spanish as translating skills, and I could even switch my job assignment later on if I'd like to something in the medical field.


The third option, brought to you by listening to Double Reed Dish (great podcast!),to say heck with it all and begin auditioning for orchestra jobs. After all one doesn't begin learning until they get their first orchestra job. And I bet I could find an opening in a Spanish speaking country. BUT I would be away from Michael. I would have to pay for the flight, room and boarding for the trip to the audition in hopes that I might win the position. It's all just too much of a chance I'm afraid to take.


In searching for answers I've realized that its okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. And that I'm afraid to not use either of my undergraduate degrees. I paid a lot of money for them after all.....


Have a good holiday weekend and feel free to contact me with tips tricks and advice!
emastenbrook911@gmail.com
or leave a comment with your contact info


EM

Friday, April 17, 2020

Quarantine and practicing doubts

Yet again a lot has changed and I haven't kept you all up to date! Sorry I'm really bad at that.... :D

I am currently sitting at my kitchen table at my home in Michigan... Kind of had a forceable removal from Costa Rica due to Coronavirus. Our Study Abroad group was on a weekend excursion in Alajuela (ala-huela), enjoying the hot springs at a hotel on a volcano and zip lining through the forest with stinky helmets. Then we all loaded up on the bus and got a phone call from our director stating that the program will be canceled effective of March 22 I believe, which was one week from that current day. Within that week we had to re-arrange our flights home, hoping that they weren't going to charge us an arm and a leg and we were also told that if we were to stay in Costa Rica past the 'move out' date there would be nothing for us, no health insurance, no room or boarding, unless our families did it for us out of their own hearts and pockets. Oh and theres no refund. Within a few days I was on my way back home, which was harder to do than I thought, I cried a lot. But with our program there is absolutely no refund, this means (I missed michael sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much the end - from Michael) our families get paid for an extra week after our departure then the rest of the housing money we paid for goes back into the program, our house families won't get it. We also wont be refunded for transferring to online learning, at least two more excursions that were included in our trip, nor did they offer to help us get to the airport (airport travel was an included fee in our program). So yeah, it was a great hecking time.

But I'm back in the US now and I was able to return to my job after two weeks of quarantine. My job, as a lifeguard, is not watching people swim anymore, its scanning people at the entrances to the hospital. We take everyones temperature, ask if they have certain symptoms, have them sign paperwork if they're salary and hand them a mask according to their level of patient activity. I've applied to a new job as of recently, I applied to be a patient sitter. This is an on call job where if a patient comes in with suicidal tendencies, or dementia, or the ones that remove their IV's, I get called in to watch them.

I'm finishing the rest of my Spanish major online, today is actually my last day of class. It's been a really difficult thing to do. Normally class lasts from 8a-11a Costa Rica time, which is 10a-1p Michigan time. Right through lunch, so typically I eat lunch during class, let it settle and take a nap after.

I've been trying to keep a consistent schedule, I wake up at 8 on the week days (and sleep in on weekends if I can), I finish whatever I need to finish before class starts as we've been LOADED with assignments this last week, take class, and maybe workout/walk/nap in this time. But the thing I'm most excited to get back to is practicing. I told myself to take a break while I finish school because its so frustrating and mentally draining that practicing seemed like more of an unwanted chore than normal. "does this item bring you happiness?" I'm learning that its okay to take breaks, yes you may fall behind someone who is practicing 365/24/7 but if you're not happy and practicing feels like a heavy burden, its okay to take a break. Maybe use this break time to plan a practice regimen.

Anyway,
I hope you all are safe and finding things to enjoy en quarantine,

Em 

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

The day after international women's day

Today, March 10 of 2020, the day after international women's day there was an attack on a mother and her daughter in broad daylight by a man. This was in my route to school, it was public, right by the bus stop I walk by every day. The public intervened and the man is in custody. I ran this morning with a friend 2 miles out and back, there was a man on a motor cycle who did a U-turn right by us as we were running on the sidewalk, he was only turning to wait for someone at the house we were running by.

I cannot tell you how enraged I am that these things are happening and becoming more popular. Especially since the attacks are only on women and children and are becoming more frequent.

Today was the first day on my walk home that I thought what do I currently have in my backpack that I could use as a weapon if I needed to? The answer, my half full glass water bottle, and my two epi pens. I decided that the water bottle would do, filled it up all the way so it carried the most weight if I were to need to use it and carried it in my dominant hand the entire 20 minute walk home, observing every car that went by to make sure it wasn't one that doubled back and not just 'glancing' behind my back but full on turning around to be completely aware of my surroundings.

I'M PISSED. ESPECIALLY THE DAY AFTER INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY.

Men, please help your female friends during these times, always and forever, the world is completely different from our point of view.

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Big differences

I am noticing that my Spanish is getting A LOT better. I no longer have to really focus on the words people say to understand them clearly. I am also noticing that English sounds weird. If I’m walking down the street alone and I hear English it’s an immediate ‘WAIT, that doesn’t sound right...’ which is such a funny thing when your mother language becomes uncommon to your own brain. Big mind blown. But I am also seeing a ton of English print on shirts and they’re hilarious! Most of them have correct grammar and syntax - for example my house sister doesn’t really speak English, she knows some words but hasn’t had an interest to fully learn the language yet. She has a shirt that says something along the lines of ‘why by racist, or homophobic (and a bunch of other things I can’tremember) but she was wearing it at dinner next to our ‘abuelo’ (grandfather) who is extremely homophobic. I’m not sure if it was a retaliation towards him, or if she knew what the shirt said in it’s entirety but I do know she is one of my favorite people.

Today we are traveling to the Toucan Rescue Ranch in the mountains. I’m excited to see my old roommate (she spent a month living with us to learn Spanish and moved up to the mountains for an internship at the rescue. I am questioning why when our program told us to wear pants and closed toe shoes that there are some wearing Sandler’s and shorts. I’m not sure if some of these people have been on a farm or near animals like this before... could be interesting ;) 

I have decided and signed up to run a half marathon on the 3rd of May (hooray borgess marathon!) but ive Gad a bit o f an upset stomach lately and I’m a little worried about my longer runs and fueling when it mes to that. We will see how it goes. Today I have to do 3 miles and tomorrow 4 because I’m hanging out with my tico family Saturday. 

I’ve really been enjoying the Fasch it’s so much fun to play and I think I really enjoy playing baroque and baroque French pieces And super modern pieces. There is no in between. I’ve been trying to practice a lot more lately but it’s so hot during the day it’s more of a workout with me being drenched in sweat. I do practice after dinner most nights but I try to stop around 8/9. 






Monday, March 2, 2020

What to play?

Michael and I played the Mozart Sonata for bassoon and cello (or Euphonium - el bombardino) last year on my recital and we were joking that for his recital this year we would play the same thing but switch parts so we would play it two years in a row... but in reality it would be three due to Kathy's recital where I played the lower part LOL!

In all reality things are going very well here. We just finished our second module, celebrated by white water rafting for 5 hours and trashing our muscles while having a blast, and began our third module. I am taking Latin American Civilization and Culture. I've only had one class but it's amazing so far! We had great conversations about 'what is culture.' 

I'm coming to a point in my life where I'm going to have to make some big decisions soon... but I can wait at least until December, to apply to grad school. I want in the worst way to live and play bassoon in Spain for the rest of my life, but I have to get into school there first. While I'm in Costa Rica I'm preparing and studying with Isabel. She recently brought to me the Fasch Sonate in C major, and I LOVE IT! She also showed me a technical studies book by her old professor at the University of Kansas, Alan Hawkins. It's quite a handy book and really plays tricks on your finger brains by presenting an etude in C major, but could also be played in C# major, Cb Major, G Major and Gb Major. On the cover it's priced at $7.50, I looked it up to possibly purchase from TrevCo (fantastic company by the late Eric Varner) it was $35 :( 

I'm trying to practice more while I'm here to become a bassoon titan... one day
EM






Monday, February 24, 2020

Whats new in Costa Rica? 24/2

I will have another post coming after this one explaining my trip to Panama and my thoughts about DCI lately but for now I want you to be updated on my life!

Last Tuesday I began rehearsing with the National University Orchestra, so far we have Overture to Egmont and Beethoven symphony no.1 in our folder, I believe we will be getting 1-2 more pieces. I went to this orchestra knowing nothing of what it'd be like, I assumed relatively similar to orchestra rehearsals in the US. But first I had to get there.... So I called an Uber and he took me to the front of the University's campus.... then it was another 10 minute walk to get to the building which is fine but I had absolutely no idea where it was other than the name of an auditorium inside of a music building I was supposed to find. Thank you security guards because absolutely none of the students knew where the music building was until I got close and saw musicians with instruments (as of which I totally followed them). I arrived right on time, 6pm, which for me is late. BUT here in Costa Rica we have what is called tico time. A tico is a person that lives or is native to Costa Rica. Tico time is when everything is 'pura vida' or relaxed, no worries and typically means late or at the leisure of whenever. We didn't start playing until 6:40pm. Now you might be a little upset at this but wow I needed that time to meet the director, find a music stand, unwrap my new chair, warm up AND stop sweating. Now at this point I'm realizing I really should've looked up some terminology to help me understand rehearsal tonight but did I? ABSOLUTELY NOT! So incase you're wondering, a 'compass' in Spanish translates to 'bar' or 'measure' in english. I only got lost a few times and one of the times the director stopped, introduced me to the ensemble and said 'everyone talk to Emily a lot!' as to which I said 'yeah, Spanish isn't my first language' but it went great other than a few mistakes.

I am getting ready for fall semester, I transferred my GRCC credits to WMU and I'm on track to graduate in the fall, along with taking a SCUBA class! So I'm thinking a lot about what's next. I don't know if I want to go to grad school right away, I don't know if I want to go to Spain for grad school or Minnesota for performance and repair. But I do know that if I don't get into the Aspen music festival with a fellowship (I find out today!) I want to stay home, complete a summer intensive EMT course, go to a music festival in Maryland, possibly IDRS if I can take that much time off and just save money and live in an apartment with Michael and try to not kill the veggies I want to grow.

Every week through the Sol education abroad program we have 'immersion excursions' where we go out and take a dance class, cooking, baking, or this week on Friday we went to a club. It was definitely weird going to a club on a school sanctioned event, it also included one free drink. I had a terrible time, not to say the club was bad or anything of such but I don't really like to drink, and I REALLY dislike loud music. Guess what they had,.... REALLY LOUD MUSIC! It was a live band and it was mic'ed terribly and the mic's were turned up incredibly loud on already loud instruments, which results in a nice screeching noise. We got there at 9 and I left at 10:30p, its all I could take. I do enjoy going out with friends but typically not at night and if we're going out for a drink I'd rather go to a restaurant so we can chat than a club or bar.

On Saturday I decided to begin training for a half marathon and practice to become a titan of the bassoon world. We'll see about the second one. I had been running down here prior to deciding this and I knew I wanted to run the Borgess run but at what distance? I've always wanted to run a marathon but I don't think its feasible in my current situation with time so 1/2 is halfway there and we can do the other part later. But running her is KILLER! I live in Heredia which is in a valley with a similar elevation to that of Kalamazoo MI, so no need to worry about altitude sickness but just because we're in a valley doesn't mean there aren't MOUNTAINS to run up every turn and a very strong headwind both ways! Here I run on an average about a 12 minute mile and I think when I get home it'll shave off 3 minutes a mile LOL. I also practiced for a bit this day, hit a nice flow in my practice session. I'm trying to memorize the Courante of the third Bach cello suite, which is an awesome piece to play but memorizing Bach is DIFFICULT because he repeats passages increasing in stepwise motion or only a step off and you really could play the same thing twice and it would sound okay but its really not.

On Sunday my roommate and I went to Ojo de Agua, which is a public pool here. It's a small kiddy pool, a young kid pool and an olympic sized swimming pool with platform dives. I was so excited to swim again! and I didn't get burnt! I think I did a little over 600m but who knows.

Today begins the last week of module 2 classes. So basically its finals week but we only have one final on Wednesday. Today we had a role play which is improvising in front of the class in a conversation with a partner using a prompt and a grammar tense previously decided. I was so unnecessarily nervous for this - it went fine we all got 100%. But we also learned swear words in Spanish! I also started my first tutoring class today, I want to learn to translate for a hospital. The tutor knows all of the words and we went over the respiratory, digestive and nervous systems but he doesn't really know what they do. I guess the purpose of translating is to directly translate and not advise but I want to be able to use this in my EMT and paramedic courses as well. I guess one will learn as time will tell.

Ten un buen día hoy, y mañana!
EM

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Rough day

Today was pretty good and then it was awful.

Classes went fine, breakfast was great (toast, melon, and yogurt with granola and a cup of coffee). We finished our presentations in class, which were about the best and worst moment of our life.... a little bit personal... mine were about when I went to China with the KJSO and how its bittersweet because the people in those photos, I will never be able to play with again even though they've gone on and continued their musical education profoundly. My worst moment was the entire debacle with Lukeman... and how the house made my face swell up and break out in hives for 4-5 months, how our ceiling fell on my cat, how when moving out they decided to come in early and clean everything out (including my piano) and throw it away. And how I sued them for it. Continuing on in class we spoke about future tenses of verbs, events occurring with nature in latin american countries and our final presentations.

I had a great lunch of beans, rice, some noodle salad, roasted cauliflower, and a chickpea soup. And then I went to have a lesson with Isabel, this is where I found out that my phone doesn't have data. I had no way to contact her to let her know I was at her house so I rang the bell at her neighbors, who didn't answer, rang the bell of the business next door and was able to use their phone. Had a good lesson, went really well and we're progressing.

The next step was getting home.... I stopped in a cafe to use their wifi to look up a bus route. Got to the bus stop on time, got on the right bus it told me to and I'm following it along and then it makes a wrong turn and I pull the string to get off but he doesn't stop... so I go to the front and ask him if I can get off at this Stop sign. He says no... So I stay on the bus and he finally stops halfway to Heredia... as of which I had an appointment for allergy shots at 5pm. Its now 4:30p and I have to walk to a different bus stop but I'm too far away from the bus stop to calculate the correct time to get on a bus because I'm already to late and missed it, and I can't look up another bus because I don't have data. So I walk all the way home. And I sweat through every piece of clothing I'm wearing and I get home at 4:50p... I'm not going to my appointment.

Em

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

No sé que quiero por un título?

We're going to Panama this weekend! .......its a 13 hour drive..... we're leaving at 2am.... BUT I'm excited to see a new place (even though it'll be pretty similar, maybe a little colder because we'll be in the mountains) ALSO!!! I bought an awesome duffel bag today for the trip AND IT HAS BACKPACK STRAPS!

Lessons:
Things have been going really well with Bassooning, last week during my lesson she assigned me to memorize Milde no.1 and the first half of the Courante from Bach cello suite no.3. The Milde isn't too bad, some accidentals throw me for a loop but the Courante is H.A.R.D, and I believe its only difficult because I'm also trying to play it in the correct Baroque style while memorizing which gives some liberty but when your memory falters it ruins everything lol! We are also continuously working on major and harmonic minor scales and the Mozart bassoon concerto (also played in the same Baroque style)

School:
I'm a little upset with school. The professors are amazing people and I would love to be acquaintances with them but when it comes to quality of teaching, organization or other incredibly important things necessary for being an educator, they lack. And it's quite frustrating that I am still paying for college credit but I don't believe I'm still getting the same quality. Pros, these classes qualify for my upper level Spanish classes, and my capstone project for minimal effort.... not sure if its right morally but never-mind that.

TTFN,
Em

Friday, January 31, 2020

End of module 1 and Deaf composers

Today we finished our first class or module. In this program we complete a class per month rather than take 4 classes at once for the whole semester. It's very nice. Theoretically we finished yesterday, as thats when we had our finals but were still required to come in today to present our final group project to the entire program (we split up into four classes based on language comprehension level). Our final group project was to tell a childhood story, like goldilocks and the three bears, and adapt it Costa Rican style. Of course we chose the three bears, and we had two 'foreign exchange' girls staying at our house. We had to explain to them the shower, as showers here are backwards, the less you turn it on the hotter it is but less water pressure, and the further you turn it on the colder it gets with higher water pressure. As well as throwing used toilet paper into the garbage by the toilet, not down the sewage system. Then the bedrooms, those are exactly the same in the states except everything is tiled instead of carpet because its easier to clean and my host family cleans the floors every day to keep the bugs out. And finally goldy chose food. First were platanos dulces, fried sweet plantain, then sopa negra, a soup made out of black beans, water, cilantro and eggs, sometimes with veggies. And finally but the most important staple of Costa Rican food, Gallo Pinto. This is black beans and rice cooked together with 'flavors' also known as onion, garlic, celery, sweet chilies, a special sauce and some 'complete seasoning' this is also typically served with a salsa of tomatoes, onion and cilantro.

Overall the production went really well and we won best comedic play.

We got out of class a little early and I went to go talk to Janiva, the SOL program director, about adding tutoring onto my class-load. I want to be tutored in both medical and musical terminology and tutoring 1-1 with a professor only costs $12/hour here! Waiting to hear back, will keep you updated.

I also had another lesson with Isabel on Wednesday (of which I had to leave my bassoon at her house overnight because I was going to get my allergy shots at the hospital in downtown San Jose, not the best place). On Wednesday we talked a lot about musicality. I'm preparing a Bach cello suite Courante and leave it to me to play everything exactly like a robotic etude. We are continuing to work on scales and she told me to move onto Milde 2  and bump up Milde 1 to 90bpm.... thats a fast boi.

I've been struggling lately with the want to practice. When I get home from school for the past few day's I haven't wanted to do anything other than nap or watch Netflix. Which is okay but I have another lesson next week that I already feel super unprepared for and I'm trying to revamp the Marriage of Figaro bassoon audition excerpt to apply to the National Music Festival by February 10 and oh lord thats super rusty.... but the other option is the Beethoven 4 mvmt IV fast solo which in my opinion is also terrible to play.... I have a theory that he wrote such difficult things for bassoon and contrabassoon because he didn't know how terrible it sounded.


Anyway I practiced for a bit today (probably only an hour), maybe we can try again tomorrow,
EM

I also wrote this without my glasses, good luck!

Thursday, January 30, 2020

I'm in Costa Rica for half a year?

Long time no see? I know I'm terrible at keeping up with this but I'm currently studying abroad for a semester in Heredia Costa Rica. My 'scholarly focus' here is Spanish, I'll be taking advanced Spanish 1 and 2, a class on culture and a class on Spanish literature. They do things a bit differently here, with this program I'll be taking a class per month from 8a-11a every day and a different class in 4 weeks. But normally in Costa Rica kids are still on 'summer' break. They take their long break from school in the winter because it's cooler and during the dry season. Their school starts up in March.

While I'm down here I have the amazing opportunity to study bassoon with Isabel Jerimas. She has German training from Karlsruhe Musikhochschule and received another degree from the University of Kansas and a speciality in baroque bassoon from the ESMUS in Cataluña Spain. I basically stalked her last year at IDRS as she was one of the judges for the Fox Gillet and the Meg Quigley Vivaldi competition previously. I tracked her down and asked if I could study with her in the winter and she said yes, so we came into contact on facebook and later Whatsapp as that is the best way to communicate here. I messaged her when I arrived in Costa Rica and we immediately set up our first lesson.

Keep in mind I'm coming from not playing all of winter break, as I take it off to remain a sane human, and the first day she assigns me Milde etude 1 with her correct fingerings and venting on all tenor A,B and C's, the Courante of the third Bach cello suite and all of the first movement of Mozart bassoon concerto AS WELL AS all of my major and minor scales.

Now thats where this gets tricky(Kathy if you're reading this I totally feel for you learning moveable Do).  In the US we use this crazy thing called moveable Do, as in solfege. This is where if you play a Bb major scale (or minor) Bb is Do. But here in Costa Rica and almost everywhere else around the world (like the metric system) they use fixed Do. Meaning that Do is always and forever the note 'C' no exceptions at all. Seems cool right? Try learning it not in your native language. PLUS they don't really say Bb major scale they will say Si bemol or si sostinido bemol and so on, its a bit much to get... BUT I REALLY WANT TO!


More to come because every day is an adventure!
EM