Monday, December 12, 2016



and I'm sick...

Had band banquet last night, I felt a little awkward in a long dress but it was pretty chill because I didn't have to shave my legs. I went with my best friend Erich. We went to his house probably two hours before the banquet started and his mom was kind enough to take pictures :). The roads turned to crap about the same time we left his house, so we took his dad's suburban.

Banquet was pretty cool, it was longer than i wanted but the video was really funny! Shout out to media staff for a great job! After banquet I went to steak 'n shake with Meredith, Brontë and Erin. This was my second dinner for the night and I stayed on track with my strict diet of carbs and cheese... lol Grilled cheese with cheesy fries! But the best part was on the way out. Keep in mind that on the way in we saw two workers preparing to shovel snow for a solid 10 minutes... as we walked out we realized that the snow is still there...unshoveled... so we followed meredith's footsteps in a duckling trail, which I got tired of after 10 feet and decided I've had enough of this and decided to jump off the curb, over a snow bank and into the parking lot. Which then resulted in a full blown disaster. I jumped, landed on my right foot, collapsed, and fall onto my knees, scraping them. I looked like a drunk but I was completely sober!

Finals are eh... I definitely got sick from going home this weekend and now I am taking these huge tests, deciding my future while I'm sniffling and coughing all over it. I took my first exam this morning at 10:15. I woke up at 9 made coffee and breakfast to go and set up shop in a really warm room in Dunbar to study for a few minutes and review so that maybe I won't fail as bad.

During the final I felt pretty good about the first 5-7 pages, because they're all review over things like ser and estar and past tense but when it came to Present perfect subjunctive vs. present perfect indicative.... AND I had to make up my own sentences to complete the idea... I was out. I semi gave up after that.

PS: I really haven't practiced a lot lately.. I have a lesson tomorrow


Friday, November 11, 2016



So I did end up having to resign my contract because there were too many conflicts with concert band concerts (for a grade) and large competitions like regionals. I was really sad about it so I called my third mom Halle Hoover because my other two were together doing painting things... and she really helped, plus I miss her like crazy! I used to see her 24/7 on tour and then poof its over.. double sad. But then my sadness turned into some anger because I was angry that I didn't figure this out before things went south. So I went with a friend, Noah to the Seeley center (the indoor turf field) and threw a lot of really high things on rifle.. I totally didn't catch them all :D but then I came up with this insane plan to get really good at it all and practice all the time then go big or go home and audition for world next year and spin with Halle and then we'll go to Phantom because we're both strong in dance and its super chill there and then Noah said no the guard caption heads left and took the whole Phantomette thing with them which is super sad.

Fast Forward a day and I borrowed a sabre from a friend on Bronco guard, Kendal. I had a nightmare that night that I was stupid and threw something high (mind you that this sabre has none of the plastic protective tips or hilt covers) and I under rotated this toss and it came down and through my foot into the turf and I started crying in front of Noah which is embarrassing because I'm only emotional around my family and he was like "what the heck is wrong with you" because his back was to me when I started breaking down and then he look and was like wtf.. so we called an ambulance and had to cut the sabre in half for some reason and then I called kendall crying because the night I got it she told me to take really good care of it and I had to tell her I was stupid enough to get it through my foot and that I had to cut it in half to get it out.

Obviously this whole thing really took a tole on me...

No I haven't practiced any more than the last blog I made tonight about 10 minutes ago...

I did a lot of adulting today!

I slept in a little which was amazing! I woke up around 8 and had coffee and plenty of time to be lazy with getting around and deciding what to wear, I even washed my face AND brushed my teeth! (usually the tooth brushing happens at dalton once I get there, approx 5 minutes before rehearsal begins lol). We didn't have rehearsal this morning and it was amazing, don't get me wrong; I love playing in this quintet and I love all of the young women it is made up of but it's really amazing not having to wake up at 6:55, catch the bus by 7:28 and get to rehearsal by 7:45 to brush my teeth.

I walked to class today and it was quite refreshing, at the time I was walking it didn't seem so.. I was hot and in a rush.. for no reason. I got there early early so I went to the library to print off my spanish paper (which I'm hoping for an A on because I put in a lot of work) I also was extra productive and printed off drill for the evening marching band rehearsal.

I had rehearsal in the recital hall at 10 with my accompanist. I felt really cool because I had to check out a key and then for an hour I had a key to the largest most beautiful room in Dalton and it really did feel like I had all the power in the world. Rehearsal went well, we're waiting for Dr. Rose in our next rehearsal to judge how balance is out in the audience, but things sounded well and they were expressive, the best part is that it took roughly 15 minutes. That was awesome.

Then I met up with my friend Erich, like I do every Monday Wednesday Friday before spanish to go over the homework and make sure it's not entirely wrong. Spanish went well, I now understand subjunctive vs imperfect bot preterite and present.

Then I met up with a really good friend of mine named Brontë, yes named after the famous author. We had lunch at the burnhams with some other flutes and then we went to her physical therapy appointment because right after... WE WENT TO DONATE BLOOD!

It was super chill and I'm really happy I did it. It was my first time and tbh I was really afraid about the finger prick, because ya know... I play bassoon and I need my finger tips. But it wasn't bad!

But then we went straight to marching band rehearsal... we were kind of worried about that but that also went well. I mean minus a really sore arm...

Then I went to dinner with Brontë and after went to play some broomball with Erich and the college of Aviation... which I am definitely not a part of.

That's all folks!

I didn't practice today (at least my bassoon...)


Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I attended an audition for Interplay A, a winterguard based out of Grand Rapids. I ended up getting a contract, spoke with my parents and accepted the contract. I can't tell you how amazing it was to be spinning that style again. I even got the courage to spin sabre, something I haven't done in two years! I loved being able to be expressive and feel like crying at the same time because it was so difficult. I am extremely excited to be spinning in a winterguard but with that is a HUGE time commitment. I'm talkin' every weekend all weekend. And I was prepared to do that. Until marching band came... this weekend I'll go to interplay friday night, come home friday night and be in a parade for Bronco marching band saturday morning. Then Mena and I will go back to interplay saturday right after the parade (literally end parade and jump in her car and change) spend the night at interplay and rehearse all day sunday. Next weekend; Dress rehearsal for concert band friday night from 8-10p and a game saturday for Bronco marching band. I also have Interplay rehearsal starting friday 8pm going to sunday at 4... how am I going to do this?!

Total practice hours today: 1 so far...

Don't practice too hard,


Friday, October 21, 2016

I'm fighting with my reeds. Almost physically throwing punches at this point. I didn't play for two and a half months over the summer because of drum corps (actually probably more because of my laziness) so I don't really have the chops of steel that I had before summer during my senior recital time.

I'm playing on the bassoon professors reeds at my university, and that is a totally normal thing to do... but they're SUPER hard! I can't practice for more than 30 minutes without getting tired. I get it tho, part of it is my fault... oops. But I still have some blanks from last spring, precisely two that are still usable. So I am using one, its perfectly in tune, I can play for two to three hours at a time (if I actually practice) but it's super long and sounds windy. It sounds a bit muffled but airy as well as if the tone isn't quite exactly clear.

Back to my real life; I'm sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, I've been a good student studying for midterms, which I took today! I feel like it went well, or this means I totally bombed it and failed the class... Fingers crossed for the first option.

I sat down in my lesson on Tuesday and wrote out a practice schedule with my instructor, OH MY GOSH!!! THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD! I found times in the day that I didn't know existed, granted my social life is pretty much gone, but I don't care if I get to play bassoon for the rest of my life and make a living off of it.

So I've obviously been practicing a lot more this week. And as I started my practice session this afternoon I got to thinking how the practice room is like a small cage. It has a small window at the top so you can tell if it is daylight or not but you can't really see anything out of it other than the ceiling. You can hear all of the extremely loud people in the lobby of the practice room, which isn't too cool peeps. Sidenote; If you go to music college please be quiet when you are near the practice rooms, sometimes people aren't having a good time in there. And sometimes you just want to get out of the practice room and escape but your time isn't up yet so you can't. Fortunately you can leave when you are done but I still say it's like a cage...

Total practice time today: 1hr 30min

Oh and I'm going to see book of mormon tonight after my swim!

Don't practice too hard,


Friday, October 7, 2016

Being a young stupid kid

Last night I planned on going to a Miller movie and watching Finding Dory but then I found the schedule for open swim and got the stupid idea to wake up at 5am for morning open swim.

I went with my friend Jen and we had a blast! We ended up swimming about 500 meters before 8:00. It really kicked my but, but it was worth it and I was happy that I was able to go back to bed after my workout and sleep another two hours before my first class.

Yay to no freshman 15! aka this means I can eat two desserts at dinner without feeling guilty ;)

But on the other side I wasn't able to practice today. I have cold sores on my face that are extremely painful. I think these are from stress because I haven't been kissing anyone, only playing bassoon... I promise that I have a semi normal life...

I received an A on my spanish quiz, which is a very good thing because I received a 60% on the first quiz.

I received a BA on my rough draft of a spanish composition, which by the way I can turn back in for even MORE points!!!

I received an A on all of my recent assignments in my digital media in music class and finished the entire class for the semester yesterday.

So I'm not quite sure how I have a ton of pimples and cold sores from stress because I've accomplished a lot and I haven't really felt stressed.

This weekend is homecoming weekend and it's going to be one heck of a show. But I'm ready for it to be over, it's very stressful attempting to fit the homecoming court and extra things needed for a traditional homecoming with the band.

Ta ta for now, I'm off to watch hocus pocus for the night :)

Practice time for today: 0 :(

Don't practice too hard....

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Many people won't understand why I have a huge dilemma on what I want to be when I grow up.  I have narrowed it down to two options, the first is risking a stable salary and my sanity to become a professional musician. This would mean moving away from my family and probably living on little to no money for a while until I find a stable job and that could take at least two years just to apply to.

But why would you go through that? Why would you go through the possibility of not having a job or even the possibility of not being able to eat or have a nice home?

I'll pretend that I am cool and answer these questions with a question, have you ever found something you loved so much that made you happy and made you all sappy and emotional when you think about it? To me that's music. There are certain classical songs I can't listen to without breaking down into tears because I remember the people I played those songs with and I remember why I did it I remember how amazing these people are and now I remember that they're half way across the country and I will probably never see them again. But it's not only the people it's being able to feel each other and communicate without saying or touching each other, it's about sharing something together that we created. It is something very difficult to explain to outside population who don't play an instrument.

The second option is safe. Its music marketing or performing arts administration. Here I would help organize and manage symphonies, ballets, and operas. It's a safe stable well paying job and I would still get to be around music but I don't know If i'll be able to perform along side them. I don't know if I would teach bassoon on the side to curb the craving of performance or not. I just don't know where I'll be in 10 years, and yes that's scary but I've kind of already accepted it and made a decision...

This is something that came up today when I had to fill out a goals sheet for bassoon studio, I had to write it down and try to explain it to the general population.

Don't practice too hard:

PS: my lesson was awesome today, I got an A and I also received an A on my spanish quiz!